Saturday, March 12, 2011

What Is The Matrix? (Tilt Your Head)

I just finished watching the movie The Matrix.

I've watched it many many many many times before. I was madly in love with Keanu Reeves's big, pretty eyes and pretty face. I didn't mind that Lawrence Fishburne didn't close the teeth gap. The movie used to be the coolest, awesome-est, wonderful-est thing I've ever watched.

That was then, back in 2001.

I don't think so anymore.

On impulse, I've downloaded the trilogy about a few weeks ago, and only got to watch the first part today. Been mad busy. *BLATANT LIE*

Now that I've watched it again, it makes me wonder...

...why the hell was the movie seemed so so so so awesome back then, and not anymore now?

Back then, the head tilt, and their hair styles, and their action-packed scenes made me hold my breath and pull my hair while I go, "PICK UP THE STUPID PHONE, NEO!!" but now I feel like it was such a lame movie.

Then I thought, it's not the movie that's lame, it's just that the scenes from the movie had been parodized (I dunno if this word exists) so many times, that the real things seem.. blahh now. Poor The Matrix. :(

I shouldn't feel like this against the movie! The movie is a really something good to watch! It's like, taking drugs, without actually taking them! I think...

Oh my Keanu~~ :3

But really!

All of those parodies are so stupid! Now I no longer have the drive to watch The Matrix trilogy! What a waste of time and space to download them. :(

But I really got nothing to do, and I've run out of movies to watch, so I guess I'll watch them anyway...

Friday, March 11, 2011

That Brief Moment

I have so many frustrations against mankind. Sometimes they bother me so much, I feel ashamed to be born as a human. We are all just too, too ugly, because we take mankind's greatest gift for granted; our intelligence.

Yeah, call me sick in the head, for worrying about something unchangeable, and something that I simply cannot help. But the feelings are always there, like how annoying it is to have sand stuck in between the toes.

Are we really that intelligent?

If we are, then why the hell are we so damn stupid?

Why are we too stupid to open our eyes?
Why are we too stupid to open our minds?
Why are we too stupid to open our hearts?

Is it really hard to keep our differences to ourselves, and not smudge it all over the corners?

Is it really hard to accept a person who does not accept your ideas and concepts, as another breathing human being?

Isn't it nice, for once, if we can forget the differences in colours,
and how we choose to dress, 
and forget how we choose to believe in God; or not, 
and forget what we like or not like about each other, 
and forget about money, 
and forget the history, 
and just get along?

Have you got no pity for our poor, old Earth?
All of us fools are still here, walking on it, yet, it spins for us.
Have you got no sense of shame?

Do tears mean anything anymore?

Ignorance is bliss.
But to try to ignore, with the fake hope that we can secure a perfect world that is under control, is like to live in our delusions willingly.
To deny our impulse is to deny the very thing that makes us human.
But hey, some of us have fucked up impulse.

For a brief moment, I stopped caring if the world ends tomorrow...
I want to be in that brief moment again.

p/s : The Matrix is real! :O

Thursday, March 10, 2011

A Woman's Sin.

A woman's sin, is that she is a woman.

A woman's sin, is because she was expected to carry the imaginary honour.

A woman's sin, is that she was born weak and vulnerable.

A woman's sin, is that it's easier to put the blame on her.

A woman's sin, is that she was born into the world where there are just too damn many senseless, useless, cowards called men.

A woman's sin, is that she is a woman.

There are no two same persons in this world, just the way how all five of our fingers differ from one and another.

Stop being hypocrites, you men out there. Stop pretending like your penises aren't there.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish that all hypocrites will drop and die. Every single day.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Suitcases and Garbage

I've completed my internship leehh~~~

Finished last Friday. Immediately packed up, and came back home that very Friday evening. I've moved around many many times. Since finishing high school, I've been moving around (almost) all over Selangor. Let's see my record here.

August 2006 : Moved from home to IUCTT in Sri Damansara.

November 2006 : Quit Twintech, packed up and came home.

December 2006 : Moved from home to Unisel in Batang Berjuntai (now known as Bestari Jaya, as the previous name is said to contain profanity element... But I like the old name better. :p ). 

December 2007 : Moved to Unisel hostel in Section 7, Shah Alam. 

April 2008 : Moved out from hostel to rental house, also in Section 7. I stayed in the flat houses area, in Block 33.

May 2009 : Landlord got mad greedy, kicked us all out of the house, so moved to a new place, also in Section 7, just next to Unisel.

May 2010 : Moved to Batang Berjuntai again, because some brilliant people in Unisel thought it was a good idea to shit my faculty to the jungle.

November 2010 : Moved to Sungai Dua, Penang.

March 2011 : Moved back to Jitra.

You can see in the course of almost 5 years, I've moved around NINE TIMES! Beat that! Ok, don't beat that. I know people who've gone through worse. :p

Because I've known that I still have no place to quietly settle down, I've always tried to keep my stuffs at minimum. I didn't collect mountains of shoes; I collected hangers. I got all sorts of colours. Now that I'm home, the wardrobes are FILLED with hangers hangers HANGERS!! :p
Nonetheless, when moving out of houses, I didn't have as much items as some of my friends. Well, they've got places to keep'em. I don't. :(

But still! Somehow I've got plenty of this and that!! It's annoying! :(

Out of nowhere, my clothes bred like bunnies. Tonnes of shirts, tonnes of baju kurung, and tonnes of blouses!
That explains why I have soooo many hangers. :p
I'm a lazybum. So I don't fold my clothes. I hang them in the wardrobe.

I've got tonnes of nail polish bottles too! :D
I like nail arts, so  like to have as much colours as I can.

It used to be worse!
I used to keep lots of bags and shoes too. But I stopped buying and started to slowly throwing away the old bags and shoes, so now I'm down to two pairs of heels, one pair of sandals, one pair of high platforms, and a pair of flip flops somewhere...

My makeup items are at a minimal amount. I don't impulsively buy 10 different shades of eye shadows. I stick to brown shades all the time. I only have two shades of lipstick, and a jar of Vaseline is for heels and lips.

I have no hair accessories. I need to have hair first, in order to have hair accessories. Nuff said.

I only keep three pairs of earrings. A pair of whites, a pair of blacks, and a pair of silvers. Fit all of my clothes.

See? I don't have much stuffs right? You know it's true, because the number of shoes and earrings and hair bands that you own is no match to mine! :p

Yet, it's so annoying to pack them all up when I have to move....

p/s : You can never win me when it comes to hangers! I have more than 10 different colours, and there are about 12 to 24 for each colour. :3

Sunday, March 6, 2011

We're Not Racist!


Fuck you.

I was watching tv, and there was this advertisement about a loan scheme form a bank, which I will not mention the name.
Basically, the ad revolves around three women having a conversation about how the loan works. Of course, those three women are a Malay, and Indian, and a Chinese.

Seriously! Stop it!

Why must "happy-people" commercials in our country involves boldly highlighting the three major races we have here?? We all know that already. No need to highlight it everywhere possible!

1Malaysia is about dissolving those lines, idiots! 
No need to feel super-sensitive about everything!
No need to subliminalize it in detergent commercials, damnit!

It's not like a bunch of Malays will get upset if they weren't represented by a Malay guy in an electrical appliances ad! Not like we'll forget that we have Chinese here, if there was no Chinese actors/actresses in those ads!

You want equality? Why not equalize quotas?

I remember there was a Raya ad last year. Three kids selling kuihs. Again, same thing there. But that was kind of okay, as it was a festival commercial, and there were sequels to the Raya ad during Deepavali or CNY, I can't remember. So that was nice.

I guess those who came up with these ads ideas are idiots, after all.

I mean, look at the quality of the ads, and you'll be able to tell.

The actors/actresses are often loom very unwilling. It's like they're forced to say the lines, they're forced to smile and show their teeth, they're forced to interact with each other.

They'll laugh for a stupid lame joke at the end of the commercials. Sometimes, there was no joke at all, but they laughed anyway, which doesn't make sense... hahahahahahha!!

Makeup skills are normally very lame. Either they just simply put on themselves, or there was no makeup at all.

Seriously, idiots. No need to extra-think about racism when doing detergent/electrical appliances/bank loans ad. Just send the damn message in your 30 second space!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Many Ways.

"One of the mistakes that human beings do is to believe that there is only one way to live, and that you don't except that there are diverse ways of being in the world. There are millions of ways to be a human being and many paths to what you call God."

- Oprah Winfrey.

"Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."

- Mona Lisa Smile.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Have Paid My PTPTN Loan!!!


I've paid a total of... RM 1



But at least I'm better than you! 
I've paid RM 1, you've paid NONE!! 


Nah, I'm not really in the situation where I can repay my loan yet. I'm mad broke (someone please donate?). I was just trying out the e-FES thingy.

I think FES stands for Financing Education Solution.

I'm extremely awed by the wonders of the internet and how it makes everything fast! (Just came out from Batang Berjuntai. Don't judge me!)

So, I've found out that here is basically how this should work.

1. You have to be a user of internet banking services. In my case, I'm using CIMBclicks.
For list of banks, click here.

2. You must have money in your bank!! No money, no need to dream about paying yet! Work super hard and make tonnes and tonnes of money, then pay! But I only had RM12 plus, so I tried on to see if I could do it. :p

3. Go to PTPTN homepage.

4. On your right side, you'll see a clickable, e-FES. Click there. Or here.

5. As you can see there, you'll need your IC number, and your PIN number. It's all written there lah, why am I typing here again??

But in case you are stupid, let me explain.

To find your IC number, go find that blue card in your wallet. The card should have your ugly face on the right. Turn it around. At the back of the card, at the center, you will see a string of numbers. That's your IC number, and that will be the numbers needed for the No KP field.

Now, you have successfully fill that in, there's a new problem. HOW TO GET YOUR PIN NUMBER??

You can either go back home, and dig into your old boxes of files, find your file where you've kept your loan agreement. Somewhere on the each of the pages, you will see numbers written in red. That's your loan number, cum PIN number.


You can SMS : 

PTPTN NOPIN <yourICnumberhere>

to 33199.

Example : PTPTN NOPIN 880231023456

You'll get your PIN in less than a minute.

You'll be directed to the page where you'll see this:

 The parts where I've circled (circle meh?) with red is where you will work on. Tick on "Pinjaman 1". Next, Enter the amount that you wish to pay. In my case, when I was trying, I typed in 1. A service charge of RM0.50 will also be deducted from your bank account. So, in total, RM1.50 was deducted form my account. I know you are stupid, so you don't understand my advanced statement. Never mind lah, may God save you.

6. Aihh I'm too lazy to type long instructions now. Then you will be directed to your internet banking page, to confirm that you have made such a transaction. They will ask for your TAC number there. Again, follow the instruction and SMS to get the number.

Then you're DONE!!

Print the receipt!! Don't be stupid and just ignore it! You might need it later! The least is to save it to your computer.

If I'm not mistaken, when paying by e-FES, the maximum amount that you can pay in a day is RM1,000 but I'm not really sure about this. (C'mon, not like you WILL make this much of transaction if you're poor and broke little student like me.. Pfftt.. :p).

As you can see on the screencap up there, the total I have to pay is RM 49,500 , and I've paid RM1 ! :D

RM 49 499 MORE TO GO!!


PSA: Don't be an asshole. Give back what you've taken. Pay back your loan. Don't run away from it. It's nice to see the 4-digit amount of money at the ATM every time a new semester starts, isn't it? If you've agreed to pay back, then PAY BACK. Have some integrity. Have some dignity.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

If You Are Wrong In All The Right Ways

I'm a strong fighter against stupid mindsets.

By stupid mindsets, I am talking about people who thinks their opinion matters, and everyone should agree with them. Please please please rot and die.

It's easy with me. I have a lot of opinions in my head. I don't specifically single out a person and shove all of my thoughts down his/her brain (well... I kinda did it to a friend, Nick; while his dealing with his own stuffs... Sorry!); but if I'm asked, I'll pour it out as it is. No sugar-coating, thank you very much!

Now, this is MY blog, so this is MY AREA. I'm free to write whatever the hell that I want here, and if you don't like my ideas, I don't see the reason why do you have the need to read my thoughts. Go and write your own blog if you have opinions of your own; people will read them IF they are interested. Get lost.

It is really suffocating to be chained down to a spot and not be able to help yourself, especially when the reason is your opinions clashes with people around you, and you refuse to live your life according to THEIR preferences; because it will kill you. 

Why should you, right? No one else knows yourself better than you do, and no one else knows the rights and wrongs of this world according to your point of view, else than yourself; right? Right! 

Sure you may say, some people who are older -- like your parents -- knows the world better because they have lived longer. Sure, they want the best for you. But it's just normal that things may get wrong too. Everybody love their parents, but after all, for how long shall one be dependent? 

At least if you've done wrong, you don't have to blame anyone else... Besides, "the best" is not what you've always wanted. Not everyone wants to be fucking rich.

/If you've got parents, but you're not, AT LEAST, financially supporting them even if you're earning more than you need, even if you yourself are already growing white hair, and they're still working to feed themselves, don't think you can preach on me for my statement. Your money is too precious to be given away, isn't it? Shut up.
Trust me, they're cursing you deep down, for being so useless./

This is what I stumbled upon Yahoo! Answers; and I'd like to share it here. You can click on the title to see the answers given for the girl's question. I've edited a bit, just to fix the caps and stuffs like that.

Would you run away from home if you were in my position?

I am over 18 and am Muslim. Since high school, me and a guy have been crazy in love and we can't be together because of my religion. It's been about 5 years now that I've been trying to forget him but I love him too much. 
He keeps on getting girlfriends to help him move on, but ends up leaving them because he's still thinking of me. My religion is beyond strict. I'm not even allowed to drive with a female friend to school. I live inside the house and that's about it. 
I am getting married to someone I've never met and am not attracted to at all. I don't want to hurt my family but I am crazy in love with this guy and I know that I will never get over him. I don't want to be married to someone and thinking of someone else. 
Maybe, I don't have the same beliefs as them. I know that some believe family don't kill family but Muslims will do anything to keep their reputation, I promise you that. It's not God that they're worried about. They worry that people might call them bad parents or tease them about how they're bad and that's why their daughter ran away. 
They expect me to be happy living like a bird in a cage. They think, just because they fed me and bought me things, it makes me happy. Love is all I ever wanted. 
I believe God is great and has mercy. I believe that as long as you believe in God and be a good person, you will go to heaven. Tell me something; if I lived the rest of my life with a scarf on and doing everything a Muslim does but not believe in it, what's the point? God can read my heart so does it matter if I pretend to believe in the religion? Women and men should be treated equally. Is it fair that if i lose my virginity i get killed for it but if my brother did the same thing, he'll be forgiven? (my own notes : Oh honey, he's the one with the shaft; you're the one with the hole and the womb. It's almost wrong to have a hole, baby girl. Tsk, tsk, tsk. /sarcasm to those who forgave her brother.)
I wish I can be with this guy but my family will kill me if they ever find me. I am in a position where I'm only trying to keep THEM happy. Don't I deserve to be happy too? I am not trying to be selfish but this is cruel. I've thought about suicide but I am too much in love to ever do that. I never want to hurt anyone but I am so in love and I just don't know what to do anymore. What do you think I should do? Would you run away if you were in my shoes? and would you feel guilty? What's your opinion?

Girl, pack your bags and just walk away. You know what you want. God sent him to you, and he will take care of you. Take your shampoo with you! He loves the smell. ;)


"Sehingga kita diadili di akhirat kita tidak boleh dengan angkuhnya merasa kita tidak berdosa dan orang lain yang berdosa. Allah s.w.t. sahaja yang mengetahui segala dosa yang dilakukan oleh sesiapa, termasuk Nik Aziz (atau mana - mana manusia yang sesuai. Dakwaan Nik Aziz (atau mana - mana manusia yang sesuai) yang dianya beriman, setelah mengkafir dan memecahbelah orang Islam, membuat berbagai-bagai tuduhan, akan ditentukan oleh Allah s.w.t. Tidak memadai dengan pengakuan Nik Aziz (atau mana - mana manusia yang sesuai) yang dianya beriman."

- Che Det. His brilliant opinion is applicable everywhere, in my humble opinion. :3

Really, Who Is Your God?

To be In a Religion Is Like To Have A PENIS.
It's normal to have one.
It's nice to have one.
But for the love of God, don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

I think someone famous said this, but I can't remember who. I find it funny. If you don't think so because you don't want God to get angry on you, then STFU and GTFO. Still not happy? Apa lagi? Print it out and hand it over to my father.

Seriously, if you have fun showing off how religious you are in public, it's wrong!

It's not God that you're worried about, isn't it?
You're just worried about being teased by "people".
Now, I'd like to ask you a question.

Who are these "people"?

Are these "people" relatives? If it is, then why would you want to keep judgmental people like this around?
Are these "people" friends? Oh, go and play Monopoly instead! To hell with them!
Are these "people" the media? You're so deluded. :p

You know what? I think the "people" are YOU. Yes, you, the hypocrite is too coward to be real and face the world. Your conscience must be really fucked up.

I'll help to sort it out for you.
First, allow me to tell you the truth about yourself. You will deny it, but you know it's true. Accept this into your heart, and your mind will be clear, as your heart will be at peace.

Or, you'll fall on your knees and cry like a stupid noisy baby! >:D

It seems like...

The truth is...



That's right! If the sole purpose of your life is to make people envy you, to look up at you, then you definitely have no life, or not really living life. Who the hell goes around constantly worrying about "what will people say?"?

All-year-round, all you can think of is how to make people praise you, and you are so damn fucking afraid if someone FINDS OUT YOUR STUPID FILTHY DIRTY SMELLY SECRETS! Such as, your daughter flashes her tits on the internet to random strangers; or you've cheated on your taxes; or your wife smokes, but you're scared someone will find out because it's not socially accepted in your community... Idk, just sayin'! Maybe you've killed someone?

So... If you think, you are abiding God's law, you're insulting God, my dear. I'm sure God will put you to Hell for relating your fucked up way of life to God. I should know, because just like you, God contacts me personally on my mobile phone.

I feel sorry for you. Please die quickly.

"She click "Like" on all of your Facebook status because you are in a limelight now! She wants to have a company, after all of those misfortunes she went through, so that she won't be alone!"

Oh, please. What stupid limelight? What misfortunes? She revealed the ugly truth about them. Plus, So what if she agrees with me? At least we are not hypocrites like you. We speak our minds, instead of bitching around at the back. What comes out, comes out.

It's called freedom of speech, idiot.


Blogging bugs stopped biting for a while. This is a good song~
By the way, she's wearing circle lenses in this video! :3

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down