Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Wedding Dillemas

I have been too lazy to write!! :D

I must say that wedding is one of the topic that I love to hate.

Just like the price for houses, weddings in Malaysia has become so freaking expensive. Little by little, new trends and norms appears, and wedding expenditures are becoming ridiculous.

Why do we have wedding receptions? When a couple gets married, the main reason that we have one is to announce the wedding itself to the public.

Call me stingy, but why is it not enough to just have a wedding reception with good food? Why the photographers, door gifts, sound systems, karaoke set, pelamin, bride's room, theme colour, and God know what else?

It is no longer relevant to have just candies in plain paper boxes as the door gift at the reception. The boxes has to be at least ribboned and frilled, and made out of porcelain. Of course a candy box has to come in a bag that also contain a small low-quality hankie that is wrapped like a popiah, and a pair of tiny little fork-and spoon (which usually ends up in bins), and probably a small sourvenir cup that says, " Thank You" or "XXX weds YYY". If you think that it is a good idea to put those little cups and candy boxes that you get in wedding receptions as decorations on your display tables or racks at homes, well, IT'S NOT! For some unknown reason, I get annoyed to see these rubbish we get at weddings made as deco items. Why do even waste money on pointless door gifts? Why not spend the money for an ice cream stand at the reception instead?

I don't remember that we had theme colours for weddings from when I was younger. If it was a Hindustani wedding, the bride wore red paica and lotsa jewelleries that make them looked like monkeys, and the guy wore suits and ties. But now, yay, we've got theme colours! Now everybody can wear the same peach colour, and we can all look like walking curtains; as if there is not enough peach curtains and linings hanging around everywhere at the function! I have been invited to functions where the host of the reception would be like, "yes, please come to the reception, but, oh, please wear blue because that will be the bride's theme colour." Like, really?! What happened to just, "we're humbly inviting you our wedding reception,"?

Now, food. There are people who dares to complains, "Balik- balik nasi minyak dengan ayam merah.Mana sate/ayam golek??" OII!!! If  your whole intention to attend to a wedding reception is only to to complain about the food, then please, by all means, do not go. Please just stay home and cook your own food perfectly according to your tastebuds! You are invited, so that means you are still socially accepted by soceity, so shut your hole and praise God.

Make up. My dear God, save the brides from their life-long humiliation. You may think that nagging your mak andam into applying foundation cream that is four shades lighter than your actual skin colour will make your face radiantly glow, but it is a mistake that makes even a supermodel looks unforgivably ugly; beastly ugly that deserves you to be locked up. So, don't. Just shut up and let him/her finish her job colouring your face properly. I've talked about this before.
This picture proves that with enough amount of makeup, there's hope for just about everyone to look pretty! Yay! 

Hantaran. We should stop frigging doing this stupid hantaran culture! Seriously! I have tonnes to say about this. Here are some screencaps of my keyboard battle with a makcik that I don't know.

Click to enlarge. Do you have any idea how long it took me to re-assemble the whole image?

Aunty ji, yes, I don't have my own child yet, but that doesn't mean that your point is valid because it seems to me like you still can't find the brain that you probably don't have after all of these years. Obviously you do have a daughter, it seems. But my question is, do you have a son? If you do, didn't you carried him in your womb, gave birth to him, nurtured him round-the-clock, fed him, clothed him, sheltered him, schooled him, and above all, loves him just like you would for your daughter? So why do you have to used all of the mentioned points as the reason for your daughter's "price"? Sons have moms and dads too. Sons didn't just grow out of the ground in the backyards or anything!
Or, Aunty ji, are you saying that you'd rather not let your daughter gets married to a (preferably good) man just because the said man doesn't have enough money to fund two seperate wedding receptions? Besides, since you are being sooooo calculative, lemme ask you another question, why should the groom, who has parents who have their own friends and relatives, fork out money from his own pocket to fund the reception on your side, where you happen to feed your own friends and relatives?
Catering service for about 1,000 pax is roughly at RM8000 - RM10,000. For two receptions, there are about 2,000 pax. So, say the groom is 24 years old. A boy at this age normally has just finished their education and starts working. So how the hell is he supposed to come up with RM20,000 within less than a year? Does that mean that all young men should either somehow inherit a load amount of money or take a personal loan or just be born rich to be able to get married before the age of thirty? I think wedding expenses should be funded by both sides equally, unless either side is ridiculously rich; then, yeah, please fund evertything, tqvm. :p
Aunty ji, when your daughter gives birth to your grandson, I suggest that you start saving so that when he grows up and wishes to marry a lass, he doesn't need to worry about not having enough hantaran money. Don't bargain with the bride's family because they have brought her up lovingly. Don't depend on your son-in-law because he is probably busy paying off the loan he took to pay for his hantaran. Judging from the how the price of everything is going up, I guess in twenty years time, the "price" of brides will be about RM30,000. Gosh, its because there are morons like you that the world is upside down, Aunty ji...

My main point is, if you have all the money in the world to waste, then go ahead, arrive poshly at your wedding reception in a caravan tied to white horses that barf rainbows and fart roses. but if you don't, then just make it simple and nice. Good food compensates everything.