Monday, September 9, 2013

Awat La Hampa Wujud?

Ni la benda paling terenchat aku penah jumpak dalam sejarah aku meng-google tak tentu hala setakat ni...

Kepada owner pic, sori pinjam tanpa permission.

bukan salah budak pompuan dalam pic tu so aku bleep muka dia


Friday, September 6, 2013

My Housemates

My housemates are a bunch of monkeys...

Seriously!!

Dear housemates,

Why is it that every time I wipe the floor to mirror clean perfection and leave the house, when I come homw, I can see footprints and sometimes just weird unexplainable stains on the floor? What the hell have you all been doing while I was gone? Are your feet/butt that oily that you have to leave marks everywhere?

I cook too, sometimes. But every time after I've finished, I'll clean the kitchen and wash the sink spotless. But you guys! You can't even boil a pack of Maggi mee without leaving the noodle crumbs on the stove. Are you blind?

Why is there HAIR on the toilet's floor trap? Why? Does your hair fall every time you take a dump? Why can't you turn the frikking lights off after you're done? Why is it that you never turn off all lights and fans anywhere in the house when you're no longer using them? Are you retarded?



This is how I always put it...

...and this is how it is after 10 minutes, every time. Do you have something against tidiness or what?


Why do you have to squeeze too much toothpaste onto your toothbrush and leave half of the paste sticking in the sink everyday? Why can't you flush off the toothpaste?

When are you going to throw that yong tau fu that you bought on the 5th of Ramadhan that is still in the fridge?

The living hall is not your wardrobe, so don't blame me if your shirts have gone missing. I probably have mistaken them as floor rag.

Are you suffering from Alzheimer's or something? It's been like 348354 times that I came back from work and found that the iron was not turned off. Are you planning to burn down the house?

I don't care if your room is a polar bear's cave, filled with fish's bones and heads, but everywhere else in the house are shared areas so keep them clean!!


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The date stamp tells you how long this issue has been sitting in my mind.. :p


I saw something interesting and I just have to answer to the keyboard warrior calling within me. This guy said that Hindustanis are dirty creatures.

Wrong.

I am one. I live with another three Malay girls.

They take time to put on nice clothes and do their hair and smell good every time before leaving the house. They don't care if flies are breeding and maggots are jumping around in the wastebin in the kitchen. They just don't give a damn if the bathroom's walls are covered in moss and the floor is infested with grimes.

It's me who makes sure garbage are thrown out every single fucking day. It's me who scrubs the bathroom floors and walls to spotless perfection. I just can't stand living in a dirty house. I like to come back to a nice clean little home after work.

Cleanliness is not related to which race you belong to. It's about attitude.



p/s: (Oct 19th, 2013) All of my housemates have moved out, and other new girls have moved in since September. Fortunately, these ladies have good common sense in keeping the house clean and tidy. Thank GOD!!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Snatch-Theft

Too many snatch-theft cases going around!! 

It has come to the point where not only these cases don't make any articles in the newspaper anymore, even failed attempts of snatching is no longer a new thing. In fact, there are now tonnes of videos of these unlucky, failed loser being beaten by bystanders available for them too keep just so that they can remind themselves of the humiliation of their failure, and so that they should have not been born into this world.

I guess snatch-thieving is a really profitable activity, that is why, just like Aurawhite 900,000mg Collagen and Shape Plus Weight Controller retailers, there are so many of these thieves.

Just a few days back, While I was strolling home with a friend after dinner, oh how bad was our luck, we heard the victim's screaming. Six guys on three bikes attacked a couple who were in a car, and, as usual, they were geared with parang. Lucky for the couple they were not hurt. But somehow I guess the victims were somewhat stupid...
As the car were being squeezed by the bikes, instead of speeding up and just running over one of them, the driver intelligently slowed down, rolled down his window, and asked them, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!". Way to go. Were you trying to impress your scared girlfriend? 
WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOES THAT?! YOU MORON, YOU'RE IN A BLOODY CAR, YOU CAN ALWAYS RUN OVER SOME LOW-LIFE SNATCHING MFERS TO PROTECT YOURSELF!! Who cares if one of the thieves dies?!


So the thieves snatched a handbag, some jewelleries and the car key. All in less than 10 seconds.

A few months back, there was a case worse than this. A lady was attacked by a man and got one slash on the back of her head, and countless on her right hand because she wouldn't let go of her handbag. Damn me I had to see the open wound on her almost-falling-off right arm which exposed her red flesh and white bones.

SO I GUESS NO MORE CARRYING AROUND HANDBAGS?

What is it with women carrying around bags and stuffing them with things that they might never use?!

"What if there is no handwash at the restaurant and I need some?" *stuffs a mini bottle of handwash in the bag*

"Oh! tissue papers!" *as if they're not readily available everywhere!*

"What if I need to take off my lenses?" *stuffs lense case and travel-sized lense solution in*

"what if my hands get dry?" *in goes a small bottle of lotion*

"I might need more tissues," *puts in another three packs of tissues*

"I might drop and lose the hairband that I'm wearing now so might as well have some spare," *drops in additional four pieces of hairband*

"I might need to touch up my make up," *BITCH YOU'RE LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR ONLY LESS THAN ONE HOUR WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO TOUCH UP YOUR MAKE UP?!*

"I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT MY POWERBANK!!" *hopeless idiot...*


Ladies, it's really time to get our shit together and stop lying to ourselves. Most of the time, all of these extra things that we carry in our bags, WE NEVER EVEN TAKE'EM OUT, SO WE DON'T NEED'EM!

Purse, keys, and phone. That's it! Keep'em all in the pockets of your pants. If you're just going for out from the office for lunch, just carry enough money to buy lunch; like a bill of RM10 or RM20; there is no need to carry the whole purse.

It's never worth being slashed with a parang just because you want to carry a handbag and look stylish.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Wedding Dillemas

I have been too lazy to write!! :D

I must say that wedding is one of the topic that I love to hate.

Just like the price for houses, weddings in Malaysia has become so freaking expensive. Little by little, new trends and norms appears, and wedding expenditures are becoming ridiculous.

Why do we have wedding receptions? When a couple gets married, the main reason that we have one is to announce the wedding itself to the public.

Call me stingy, but why is it not enough to just have a wedding reception with good food? Why the photographers, door gifts, sound systems, karaoke set, pelamin, bride's room, theme colour, and God know what else?

It is no longer relevant to have just candies in plain paper boxes as the door gift at the reception. The boxes has to be at least ribboned and frilled, and made out of porcelain. Of course a candy box has to come in a bag that also contain a small low-quality hankie that is wrapped like a popiah, and a pair of tiny little fork-and spoon (which usually ends up in bins), and probably a small sourvenir cup that says, " Thank You" or "XXX weds YYY". If you think that it is a good idea to put those little cups and candy boxes that you get in wedding receptions as decorations on your display tables or racks at homes, well, IT'S NOT! For some unknown reason, I get annoyed to see these rubbish we get at weddings made as deco items. Why do even waste money on pointless door gifts? Why not spend the money for an ice cream stand at the reception instead?

I don't remember that we had theme colours for weddings from when I was younger. If it was a Hindustani wedding, the bride wore red paica and lotsa jewelleries that make them looked like monkeys, and the guy wore suits and ties. But now, yay, we've got theme colours! Now everybody can wear the same peach colour, and we can all look like walking curtains; as if there is not enough peach curtains and linings hanging around everywhere at the function! I have been invited to functions where the host of the reception would be like, "yes, please come to the reception, but, oh, please wear blue because that will be the bride's theme colour." Like, really?! What happened to just, "we're humbly inviting you our wedding reception,"?

Now, food. There are people who dares to complains, "Balik- balik nasi minyak dengan ayam merah.Mana sate/ayam golek??" OII!!! If  your whole intention to attend to a wedding reception is only to to complain about the food, then please, by all means, do not go. Please just stay home and cook your own food perfectly according to your tastebuds! You are invited, so that means you are still socially accepted by soceity, so shut your hole and praise God.

Make up. My dear God, save the brides from their life-long humiliation. You may think that nagging your mak andam into applying foundation cream that is four shades lighter than your actual skin colour will make your face radiantly glow, but it is a mistake that makes even a supermodel looks unforgivably ugly; beastly ugly that deserves you to be locked up. So, don't. Just shut up and let him/her finish her job colouring your face properly. I've talked about this before.
This picture proves that with enough amount of makeup, there's hope for just about everyone to look pretty! Yay! 

Hantaran. We should stop frigging doing this stupid hantaran culture! Seriously! I have tonnes to say about this. Here are some screencaps of my keyboard battle with a makcik that I don't know.

Click to enlarge. Do you have any idea how long it took me to re-assemble the whole image?

Aunty ji, yes, I don't have my own child yet, but that doesn't mean that your point is valid because it seems to me like you still can't find the brain that you probably don't have after all of these years. Obviously you do have a daughter, it seems. But my question is, do you have a son? If you do, didn't you carried him in your womb, gave birth to him, nurtured him round-the-clock, fed him, clothed him, sheltered him, schooled him, and above all, loves him just like you would for your daughter? So why do you have to used all of the mentioned points as the reason for your daughter's "price"? Sons have moms and dads too. Sons didn't just grow out of the ground in the backyards or anything!
Or, Aunty ji, are you saying that you'd rather not let your daughter gets married to a (preferably good) man just because the said man doesn't have enough money to fund two seperate wedding receptions? Besides, since you are being sooooo calculative, lemme ask you another question, why should the groom, who has parents who have their own friends and relatives, fork out money from his own pocket to fund the reception on your side, where you happen to feed your own friends and relatives?
Catering service for about 1,000 pax is roughly at RM8000 - RM10,000. For two receptions, there are about 2,000 pax. So, say the groom is 24 years old. A boy at this age normally has just finished their education and starts working. So how the hell is he supposed to come up with RM20,000 within less than a year? Does that mean that all young men should either somehow inherit a load amount of money or take a personal loan or just be born rich to be able to get married before the age of thirty? I think wedding expenses should be funded by both sides equally, unless either side is ridiculously rich; then, yeah, please fund evertything, tqvm. :p
Aunty ji, when your daughter gives birth to your grandson, I suggest that you start saving so that when he grows up and wishes to marry a lass, he doesn't need to worry about not having enough hantaran money. Don't bargain with the bride's family because they have brought her up lovingly. Don't depend on your son-in-law because he is probably busy paying off the loan he took to pay for his hantaran. Judging from the how the price of everything is going up, I guess in twenty years time, the "price" of brides will be about RM30,000. Gosh, its because there are morons like you that the world is upside down, Aunty ji...

My main point is, if you have all the money in the world to waste, then go ahead, arrive poshly at your wedding reception in a caravan tied to white horses that barf rainbows and fart roses. but if you don't, then just make it simple and nice. Good food compensates everything.