Thursday, December 13, 2012

Classy or Trashy?

I'm in the mood to swear, and go all foul-mouthed. :P

I put on make up because I do not have that naturally flawless porcelain skin that is NOT uneven nor unblemished. It does help to make me feel that I look better, especially when needed. Most of the time, I put on makeup for work, because nobody wants to see pale-faced, panda-eyed creature filling up their registration card when they check-in into a hotel. Also, when I attend to complaining guests (which is what I mainly do :( ), it helps to play cute better. Pale-faced, panda-eyed zombies aren't calming. :p

Hoteliers know better; we've got to look pleasant. Even if you're fat and round and whatnot, as long as you find a way to look pleasant, and know how to do the job, you're in.

But there is a limit to everything. I cannot bear it any longer; looking at girls putting on make-up that makes them look cheaper than Chow Kit hookers. Seriously, what's with the grey face ya'll??

When you look into the mirror as you cake your face on with make up, did you not see that there are two different tones on your face and on your neck; and that the tone on your face looks like you've slapped it with thermal clay mud?

This is the only successful way to put clay mud on your skin and still look decent

It looks bad as it is, and it looks worse in pictures! I can just go to my Facebook account and take some pictures of people whom I know in real life and put them up here to illustrate my points, but as I've mentioned before, I'd rather use my own face. So do appreciate my effort to go on and put on make up on my face and look ridiculous!

This is the best that I can get from the lighting in my room. forgive me for not being dedicated in producing materials for my blog illustration.

Look closely, you can see that the colour of the face doesn't match the colour of the neck. Do you know why the colour of your skin turns into this grey-ish tone like this? Ok, I give up. My picture isn't really working. I still put it up because I've tried. :p
Here's a better example:

I'm Bunny, I'm pink, I'm always pretty~

Not only your face differs from your neck, but your eyebrows are dusty-looking. :p

It's because you bitches think that you're fairer than what you actually are. That's right, that foundation or BB cream and compact powder that you are using is too damn light for your tone.

I discovered foundation cream when I was in Form 2, and I used it religiously everyday, even for school, and I remember some fuckers at school called me "Opera" (don't think I don't know, you skimpy bitch!); a term commonly used to refer to a heavily-coloured face. Weren't we all idiots when we were fourteen?

My mistake at that time, besides the fact that I used make up for school; was that I used the cream in an amount more than I should.

Years of experimenting with brands after brands, I finally found one brand with one tone that matches my exact skin colour; it's Elianto BB Cream #02. I will stick with you for life.

You and me, together forever.

There is a friend of mine, whose name will remain unmentioned, who only got her cream and powder colour right only after Syarina and I taunted her EVERY SINGLE TIME she walked out of her room, being so sure she was all dolled-up and ready to step out of the house. 

Every single time she was done with her make up, we were like, "akak, did you jump into the flour sack? You are so kelabu (grey), you look like the Pinoys we have here," -- for some reasons, MOST of the Pinoys that I know loves to go grey with their make up. 

We dragged her to the store, find her matching tone of compact powder, and when I showed her the the tone that she should be wearing, WHICH WAS LIKE, TWO TONES DARKER THAN THE ONE SHE WAS WEARING AT THAT TIME, she went all defensive, "NOOOO NEVER IN MY LIFE I HAVE WORN A COMPACT POWDER THIS DARK!!", and Syarina and I, being as blunt as we were, "Yeah, that's why you have been grey all these while; you are not as FAIR as you think that you are lah akak."

It's basic logic.

 Black + white = grey.

When you pile on that wrongly-toned cream of yours, and you don't see yourself as grey, you are probably hallucinating that your skin has magically become fairer, and you're also deluding that you're glowing. Hell, no. HELL, EFFING NO. You're just making yourself look cheap.

FOUNDATION CREAM/ BB CREAM/ COMPACT POWDER cannot make your skin become fairer. Face it!

Unless you're doing a zombie or a vampire make up, do not ever, ever, ever lie to yourself about your skin tone! It's just plain wrong! In fact, it's on par with how wrong a duckface is!

Now that you've come to your senses, and realized the shame of making yourself looking ridiculous in public all these years, I bet you are dying to change; because if you don't, you'd want to change your face with a girraffe's pimply ass wtf.

So here's how:

1. Search for that one true tone!! I found mine. There are tonnes of brands out there, and each of them has at least three to four different tones, and there are always testers at the shelves; there is bound to be one that matches you. Or, if you're frigging rich, just go throw some money to a make up artist and he/she will instantly lead you to one.

2. Be equal!! The thickness of the cream on your face should be the same as the thickness of the cream on your neck. It's also a common mistake that people think that they do not need the cream on their neck because there is no blemish or scar or whatsoever to cover on their neck. Just slap it on! Trust me!

3. Be moderate!! Unless required (tv casting, special make up, some shit), don't pile on too much of powder on the face. Just put enough to look matte. Just dab it on, then smooth it out.

4. Once you've completed your make up, NEVER leave the eyebrows covered in cream and powder. Load a cotton tip with some make up remover, then carefully wipe off your eyebrows. Powdery eyebrows make your make up look thicker than they actually are.

Now that I've lovingly elaborated, and you know the whys and the hows there is absolutely no reason to look like a cheap call girl anymore.

You're welcome, honey. No biggie.

Here's a camwhore pic of me on last... Raya... at work... ._.

I know it's a damn old picture, but I haven't posted it on my blog, so wth!

My nametag almost dropped...