Wednesday, February 9, 2011

If I Have A Daughter...

I want to rant about something, but i'm feeling calm today; despite the fact that I've reached the 21st pill last night, and by today I'm supposed to rage out of my hormonal fluctuation... (Oh yes, I take pills so that I can fuck around carefreely.)

See what I mean?
Eh fuck you lah! Don't simply assume can? I take them to repair some conditions. I'm lazy to explain. Why should I explain?! Idiot!

BUT I MUST WRITE SOMETHING!! Since I've got nothing better to do...

I'd love to rant about parenting, but hey, I'm not a mother, so what do I know about parenting, right?
It's not like I can tell a mother of a 12-year-old girl to stop telling her daughter to not wear this and not say that, so that, in the end, it won't break your heart when you found her lying to you!!!
Sigh.. I'm not a mother.. So what do I know about parenting? Can't ramble about this..

But I've decided on my child's name!
If it's a girl, I'll name her Aleesha. If it's a boy, I'll name him Adam.
C'mon, in a world where everything is getting globalized, it'll be much easier for them to have universal names, right? Right.

Nadia, Naema, Maryam (I love this name! :D), Alya, Danial, Adam, just to name a few...
Sure we'll say that names for our children are our prayers for them so we must be careful, but I choose to be ignorant. The end.

If I have a daughter, I don't know if I'll be able to tolerate with waking up at nights to attend to her needs; like her diapers and feeding. I'll kill my husband in his sleep if he refuses to help me with this. Damn you. What the hell do you think of yourself, sleeping there and snoring away, while I have to wake up to feed her, change her diaper, and change my pad all together?! We made her together, didn't we?!

Ok, ok... no point nagging over my delusions. I'm not even married yet wtf... -_-U
What? I can't be imaginative?


If I have a daughter, I will never let her be the victim of a mushroom haircut.

"Mommy idiot!" See? She's pissed off!
If I have a daughter, I will definitely teach her to moisturize her heels with Vaseline every other night before bed! What do you mean I'm pressuring her? I'm teaching her to be consistent. Plus, this healthy habit will guarantee her a virgin-like soft supple heels for a lifetime!



Digressing a bit!!

No, seriously, who came up with the idea that red heels equals to virgins and dry flaky heels means they popped their  cherries? Idiots..
I shall quote from my friend, Olie:

"Mak aku dah beranak lima dah pun, merah je tumit dia.. Ni ha tumit aku ni, merekah gile pasal aku cuci baju pakai tangan! Harus la kaki aku kena detergent kat dalam bilik air tu! Bangang punya jantan- jantan miang!"
(my mom gave birth five times and her heels are all red.. My heels are all cracked because I handwash my clothes! Of course I'll get detergent on my heels when I'm in the bathroom! Bloody perverts!"



BACK TO THE STORY!

If I have a daughter, I will train her to not be afraid of ghosts! I am very very scared of ghosts! >_< A small little crackly sound in my room, and I'll hide under my blanket! I don't want my child to suffer from the same mental disease...



Now let's suddenly end this because I just realized that nobody really cares about the things that I will do to my child. I should stop rambling.


p/s : My child will not have a mushroom haircut!!