Saturday, January 29, 2011

:)

I know I have a little stalker from Belgium.

Sorry, but for now, I trust almost nobody. So if you've been fed with stories, and you come here just to grow your hatred for me, kindly leave.
But if you're neutral, enjoy my pointless rants.

Thanks. :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Jokes Collection!

Biwi(gusse me):tumarey dimag to sirf gobar bhara ha!
Pati(pyar se): To fir itni der se qiu kha rahi ho?







These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm 

These exchanges were actually taking place. 

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there..
 __________________________________ 

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
 ______________________________________ 

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 ______________________________________ 

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
 _____________________________________ 

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which
Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
 _____________________________________ 

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
 ______________________________________ 

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
 ______________________________________ 

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ___________________________________ 

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 _____________________________________ 

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? 
______________________________________ 

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time? 
______________________________________ 

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________ 

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 
______________________________________ 

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 ______________________________________ 

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 ______________________________________ 

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people..
 ______________________________________ 

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral. 
______________________________________ 

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at! the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. 
______________________________________ 

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 ______________________________________ 


And the best for last 


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Death and I. (Oi, this is not a suicide note, okay!)

WARNING : THIS IS A RATHER DEPRESSIVE READ. IF YOU'RE FEELING SHITTY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, YOU MIGHT WANNA GO AND WATCH A HAPPY VIDEO ON YOUTUBE INSTEAD.

I believe I have made peace with death.

I love life. So much. 
Nothing I love more than being alive. 
It's good to be alive. 

It is.

But all good things will come to an end. :)


During the last few weeks, life has been on a very unstable swingbridge for me. 
During my waking hours, I either scream out words to the walls in my room UNCONCIOUSLY. One night, I just suddenly started screaming while I was trying to sleep. What will burst my bubbles are usually knocks on my door, or noisy neighboors, or phone rings.
During my sleeping hours, I'll dream of deaths and disasters (my death, mass death, meteor strike, flood, volcanic eruption, doom's day, you name it. They are still clear in my head). 

Boy, it was annoying. 

I even thought of suicide. If you're reading me, and you instantly think I'm doomed, and you feel that you must preach me in order to save me, or because it will make your conscience clearer, DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! Don't ask. Just shut up. SHUT UP. If you feel disturbed by my statement, get the fuck off my blog. I don't need your shallow opinions. Don't fucking try to control about what topics I am allowed to think of, and what I cannot.

Then I remembered how good roasted chicken rice is. So I gave it up. For the sake of chicken rice.
And the hope that one day I will find a four-leafed clover leaves. :3

The bridge is still swinging, yeah, but I'm gripping the edges better. The cup of coffee is both sweet and bitter, after all.

But I have been thinking about death for a very long time, not because I'm thinking about suicide all the time, but because;

  IT WILL SIMPLY HAPPEN.

Either way, it will come one day. By any means. Cancer, heart attack, car accident, plane crash, fire, drowning, war, psycho murderer, electrocution, natural disasters... Out of all the causes above, I believe I will most likely die in a natural disaster, or be a murder victim. I doubt I'll reach my old age. But the future is not to see. :3

So, if death is to approach me in any given time, I am willing. I will be scared, my heart will beat fast, my palms will get all sweaty, and cold, knowing that my very (short and brief) life is about to end; but I am willing. I will be at peace.


Or so I thought...



Three nights ago, I had a dream that has made me become aware that there is one thing that will I need to do before I die. I dreamed that the Earth was hit by 3 meteors. They flew up on the sky. The first one, which was the biggest, hit the ocean up north, and the other two, which were relatively smaller, hit the north-west of Asia. The Earth shook due to the hit impacts, and in came the huge flood, and instantly, I knew I was going to die right there, right then, and only one thing that was in my mind that made me want to cling to my dear life, but knowing that death was inevitable, I surrendered. Over-active imagination? Whatever. :p

But when I woke up, in between the the craze of heavy breath and incoherent heart beats, I realized that I will not die in peace if I die before I am with this guy. If I die before I get to see him once again, I will regret it truthfully.


Now, again.
DON'T FUCKING JUDGE ME.
It's my clear thoughts, which I am very conscious of. I'm not going to sugarcoat my words and lie just to have a better stand in your eyes. I don't need a better stand in anybody's eyes. Just because I didn't say things like, "I'll regret dying if it happens before I apologize to my mother," and so on, so now I am a bitch, according to your judgment. Guess what? At least I'm unlike you, a lying whore who only feels better after kissing asses here and there, and be a fake angel. This is what I feel, so this is what I say. If you're unhappy about it, you can bitch about it, and then go to hell. I will definitely not lie to myself, and act deluded, pretending that I am happy to not have what I want. I don't care if you hate me, but I will fight back. you can kill me, but not what makes me, me. If you're too stupid to understand the points of this entry, just go and die elsewhere. If you have a different opinion, I don't give a damn.


So let's end this depressive rant by summarizing the points of this entry. Since this is MY blog, so the summary should only be truly applicable to me. They are : 

1. When I'm fucking stressed up, I start to have nightmares in my sleep. Same thing happened during my thesis year.
2. I will not keep quiet if anyone thinks that thinks that he or she can overpower me, and disrespect my will and wants; whoever that person may be.
3. Simple things like chicken rice can bring happiness.
4.  Imma bitch with a loud mouth. Appearantly it's cool to be a bitch nowadays. 
5. Life is short. We are all just a tiny piece of star dust, like proven in this famous picture :

Earth from Voyager
This is the famous picture of Earth, called Pale Blue Dot.
"That’s us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam. Our posturing, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. 
- Carl Sagan (1934 - 1996), that famous astronaut guy.

So. Where are your senses?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

MAH BABEYH!!

I FINALLY GOT MY LAPTOP BACK!!!!!

I'm glad that I made it through alive. :p

After two weeks of waiting and waiting and waitiiiinnngggg........ my baby is back in mommy's arms. :')

I can't believe it. Two fucking weeks just to change one chip?! I wonder what the hell were they doing. Either way, it should have not taken that long. I terrorized the shop once in every two or three days. The last time I was there, I was pretty pissed off and disappointed, and made it clear to them. So when I walked in earlier this morning...

...the girl at the counter gave me a "pity meh! (but I hate you!)" smile...

...and the techie guy took one step backward when he saw me...

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PADAN MUKA LU LAH~!

But, whatever. I got mine back. Somehow the screen looks clearer than before. So I dunno. I don't care~

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Circle Lenses



CIRCLE CIRCLE CIRCLE~~

I don't care if boring people like you out there thinks circle lenses are bad, or retarded. I LOVE THEM! I got a good deal at last week's pasar malam. The girls are bringing out the carts and selling them there, instead of selling them online now. Which is good!! Because they are much much cheaper like that. Plus, we can bargain. :p

C'mon we all know they are dirt cheap, and RM30 per pair IS expensive. :p

I'll get oxygen-deprived irises? WRONG! I feel more comfy with circle lenses, compared to my expensive-bought-from-opto-shops lenses!

There are always paranoid people out there who are so apposed to the idea of me wearing lenses, because they are so positive that I'm taking God's gift for granted, and I'm willing to sacrifice my eyes for the sake of beauty.. As soon as they found out that I'm wearing lenses, their reactions are like as if I told them that I am an alcoholic, or something. WHY THE HELL MUST YOU PEOPLE REACT LIKE THAT TO BEGIN WITH?! My sister has been wearing contact lenses for 20 years, even more, I think; and she's doing perfectly fine!

I CANNOT WEAR GLASSES, SO STOP TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD, AND MUST WEAR GLASSES FOR VISION CORRECTION. My facial frame is kinda fucked up. You can't see it on my picture, but it is. As soon as I get a pair of glasses on my face, the glasses sides (you know that part you place on your ears) will slowly bend in weird ways as time goes by, and after a month or so, I'll have a pair of glasses with distorted focus points What is a focus point? Google it if you don't know. The words themselves already explain what they are if you bother to use your brain and think.

Now that I have a pair of fucked up glasses, it'll fuck up my eyes too. Over the years when I was wearing glasses and was completely ignorant of the fact that I cannot wear glasses, I had to correct my visions 6 times! That's within 5 years. How many times have I corrected my vision since wearing contact lenses?

ZERO
Bam.
So please shut the hell up now. I am not going to wear glasses. Plus, they are ugly on me. Just because you are destined to be ugly in glasses, because your mom forbids you from wearing lenses; even though you're frikking 26 years old, which is old enough to decide what the hell you can or cannot do to yourself on your own; and you are paranoid, doesn't mean I must suffer the same fate too.

Of course, in order to be able to wear circle lenses and not get blind, like other normal lenses, the only requirement is that you must not be lazy. Or stupid.

You must not be lazy to take care of them, just the way you take care of your normal lenses. Don't leave them in your eyes when you go to sleep, you stupid lazy buffalo.

If you've piled on make up on your eyes, when you remove the lenses, make sure you rub off gently any traces of make up that might get stuck on your lenses.

Use protein removers once in a while. Don't be stingy! I'm sure you're not that poor, if you're crazy over circle lenses.

Just because they told you it'll last for a year, I'm sure you're not THAT much of a disgusting person. I change mine after 3 or 4 months.

Don't try to be hard to look chio all the time by wearing them until before you go to bed. if you must, give your eyes some rest. After five hours or so, take them off. rinse, rub, rinse, and soak for 5 minutes (I'm using Solo Care Aqua Multi-purpose Solution for cleansing my lenses, and they have this express clean-up thingy). If possible, soak longer than 5 minutes.
It is much better if you switch in between two pairs of lenses in a day. It's cool la~ 2 different eye-colour in a day! So not human. :p
This is the thing! They have new packaging now. I like the old one better, but whatever.
Don't wear your lenses for too long either. 8 hours is recommended, but we all know we always stretch that limit. :p
But yeah, don't be an idiot, and wear them for like, 18 hours!


So basically these are how I take care of my lenses. Don't come and hentam me ok. i never said I'm an expert. But just like sewing, if you've been doing it everyday for over five years, of course you'll know some of the do's and don'ts of them~


I'm still stuck at the noisy cafe, where words like 'lan jiao' and 'chee bye' are flying around from the nerds' mouths. Stupid laptop service center.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Bye Bye 2010, Hellu 2011 :3

I wrote a looooonnnggg post but stupidly closed down the browser so everything's lost. Which sucks.

But whatever!! :p
I try not to take EVERYTHING so seriously.

2010 is the year that was FILLED with ups and downs for me. I think this was the year I cried the most since I hit puberty wtf :p

May the new year brings us good, and fill our lives with smiles. :D :D :3 :D

Lemme recap basically things that happened this yearrrr >>>


-after months of talking and talking and talking to Jesper, he confessed. I gave it a go. Ok I admit I was FREAKING HAPPY about it that I was incoherent for a good 30 minutes. Left him with no answer, went offline, ran around the house, before I gave him a yes. I also admit that I was a chicken to not say anything to him before that!

- started working on my thesis under Dr Yap, along with Susi.

-daily lives were filled with lab works.

-hit by the worst news of the year. Our faculty was to move to the main campus.

-after months of trials and struggles, with the hope that we didn't have to move, it happened anyway. Fuck it.

-semester holiday, but not really holiday for me. Had to be around the campus for continuous lab works. One day in June, I think I died. I know I died. Continued with lab works. Spent the holidays with Susi who was also doing her lab works with me. Last few days of staying at Alex's house was sorrowful...

-since the faculty got shifted, Susi and I decided that we'll drive from Shah Alam to the main campus daily for classes, and continue with our lab works in Shah Alam. By this time, I have not recovered yet from when the "I think I died, I know I died". Things got really messy and fucked up with the faculty, and we had to move to the main campus anyway. So we did.
The shittiest place I've ever lived in.

-Kept going on with my lab works, working for my thesis. Days were FILLED with stresses! AAGGGHHHH I WAS REALLY GOING MAAAADDDDD!!!!! Had to live in such an awful environment, had to complete writing me thesis, and.. well. It was no fun being stressed up and living around stressed up people. Plus the damned 9000+km.

-FINISHED MY THESIS!!! Viva, hardcover, corrections.. everything got taken care of, somehow. Million thanks to Dr Yap for his patience to supervise probably the most incoherent student he ever has! Also to Susi. If she wasn't there, I'll be eating Maggi most of the time! :p
That was the HAPPIEST, HAPPIEST day of my life in 2010.

-Things are a lot better for me since I've finished thesis writing. That has got to be the ugliest thing I've ever done in my life.
-applied for internship in USM, Penang. Things are more calm and days are more organized.

-dear grandma passed away on the 11th of December. It was so sudden, I still cannot register her death into my head.

Since then, no more unfortunate event. Most days are normal, and calm. I lost weight, gained weight. I want to lose more. At least 10kg more.

let's just end this pointless rant!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!